Every tape, and the cabinet is already arguing

The cabinet is shrieking. Visitors park over the house and the town cross-examines Cartman before anyone studies the sky.

Hold onto something. A hunting lecture, a mountain, and a volcano that refuses to wait for Jimbo's moral.

The printer is foaming. A weight-gain powder and a visiting talk-show guest turn a welcome speech into a public health incident.

This tape made the gears feral. A dog, a football game, and a riverboat host who is kinder than the town arguing about both.

The cabinet will not use its inside voice. A bedroom science project orders a pet and receives a genetic punchline instead.

Listen, the machine is already mad. Stan tries to reschedule his grandfather's death while the parents declare war on a cartoon.

The cabinet is shrieking. Halloween brings a costume contest, a zombie problem, and a legend Kenny should not have dressed as.

Hold onto something. A canned-food drive adopts the wrong moral and a hungry kid who is sharper than the charity.

The printer is foaming. A Christmas visitor from the sewer explains the holiday to a kid the town tried to leave out, mostly in song.

This tape made the gears feral. A new kid throws a birthday party for his dad, and Cartman accepts a fight the guest list already decided.

The cabinet will not use its inside voice. A glamorous substitute short-circuits the boys, and Wendy answers heartbreak with a plan that goes too far.

Listen, the machine is already mad. A mechanical diva stomps downtown and the boys answer with a robot like Saturday morning owed them one.

The cabinet is shrieking. The season finale is a paternity circus, and the adults treat a child's question like a sweeps stunt.

Hold onto something. April Fools means the audience gets an entire Terrance and Phillip episode instead of the promised answer.

The printer is foaming. The paternity stunt continues, the adults keep guessing badly, and the joke is the town's need for a villain.

This tape made the gears feral. Ike's family story and a circumcision panic send Kyle on a mission he does not understand yet.

The cabinet will not use its inside voice. The boys learn a book-mobile lesson from the worst possible tutor and the town learns it slower.

Listen, the machine is already mad. A nurse becomes a punchline, a dodgeball game becomes a blood feud, and the town picks the wrong sympathy.

The cabinet is shrieking. A hunt-cam show, a staring frog, and a Vietnam gag collide because Jimbo needed better ratings.

Hold onto something. A bus teeters, flashbacks multiply, and the episode admits it is stalling with a grin.

The printer is foaming. The town bans fireworks, invents a sad replacement, and learns that summer can be a punishment.

This tape made the gears feral. A film festival rolls in, Chef gets a salty anthem, and independent cinema is roasted until it glistens.

The cabinet will not use its inside voice. Chickenpox is treated like a playdate strategy, and the parents' logic is the actual illness.

Listen, the machine is already mad. A planetarium visit, a deadpan hostage film, and a critic who will not stop eating.

The cabinet is shrieking. Two clubhouses, a divorce panic, and a truth-or-dare game the boys are not old enough to run.

Hold onto something. A carnival comes to town and Cartman enters a bull-riding bit he cannot physically survive.

The printer is foaming. Chef's old song gets stolen, the town throws a benefit, and every guest is here to roast the music business.

This tape made the gears feral. An evil goldfish double, a spooky pet-store week, and Stan losing his patience in stereo.

The cabinet will not use its inside voice. A Christmas visit to relatives in Nebraska goes exactly as well as putting the boys near the Manson joke.

Listen, the machine is already mad. Underpants, a corporate presentation, and a business plan written by children who have never had a job.

The cabinet is shrieking. A frozen man from the past becomes a custody fight between two dads and one unfrozen decade.

Hold onto something. A choir trip to the rainforest teaches the kids a song and the adults a worse lesson about saving things.

The printer is foaming. Spontaneous combustion hits town, the mayor needs a cause, and the boys invent a theory involving romance.

This tape made the gears feral. Chef falls for a woman the boys decide is a demon, and their exorcism is mostly jealousy with candles.

The cabinet will not use its inside voice. A painfully earnest new species moves in and the town cannot tell protection from a punchline.

Listen, the machine is already mad. A fight the boys engineer between two classmates becomes a dating rumor with fists.